Learned helplessness is a psychological state where someone starts to feel like they have no control over their circumstances. This mindset often develops after going through a series of uncontrollable and painful experiences, where efforts to change or escape have repeatedly failed. Over time, this can really chip away at a person’s confidence and their ability to take action, even when there are opportunities to improve or get away from the situation.
This issue can have serious effects on mental health, emotional strength, and overall quality of life. The good news is that it doesn’t have to last forever. With the right support and therapy, it’s absolutely possible to regain your sense of control and rebuild your self-esteem.
What is Learned Helplessness?
The term “learned helplessness” was introduced by psychologist Martin Seligman and Steven Maier back in the 1960s, stemming from studies on animals. In these studies, dogs subjected to repeated shocks they couldn’t escape eventually gave up trying to escape, even when they had the chance to get away. The same pattern can be seen in humans who have faced ongoing trauma, rejection, or failure.
At the heart of learned helplessness is a belief that goes something like this:
“No matter what I do, nothing will change.”
This mindset can become a major roadblock to healing, personal growth, and taking action; even in situations where change is now possible.
Real-life Examples of Learned Helplessness:
You might see learned helplessness in various situations, such as:
- Abusive relationships– where someone has tried and failed to leave or stop the abuse, leading them to feel that escape or safety is out of reach.
- Bullying or harassment- when repeated efforts to stand up for oneself are ignored or met with punishment, the person may shut down or stop seeking help altogether.
- Workplace mistreatment- ongoing micromanagement and unfair treatment can lead to a sense of passivity and disconnection from one’s goals.
- Academic underachievement- students who face repeated struggles may come to believe that they are “just not smart enough,” regardless of their true capabilities.
These individuals may have once tried to assert themselves, seeking help, or trying to safeguard their well-being, but over time, they’ve come to believe that their efforts are in vain.
Emotional and Physical Impact
Learned helplessness doesn’t just mess with your thoughts, it takes a toll on your mental, emotional, and physical health. Here are some key consequences:
Psychological effects
- Low self-esteem
- Feelings of worthlessness or shame
- Anxiety and depression
- Lack of motivation or hope
- Fear of taking initiative or making decisions.
Social and Behavioral Effects
- Withdrawing from relationships
- Avoiding new opportunities
- Relying on others for validation or make or decision making.
Physical Health Risks
- Chronic stress and tension
- Sleep disturbances
- Weakened immune system
- Increased risk of heart disease
When you feel like you can’t protect yourself or change your surroundings, your body stays in a constant state of stress, which gradually chips away at your resilience.
Reclaim your Power
Learned helplessness is a strong force, but it doesn’t have to last forever. With the right tools, guidance, and support, you can regain your ability to tackle life’s challenges.
Effective interventions:
- Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT)
CBT helps you pinpoint and challenge the distorted beliefs that fuel feelings of helplessness. It employs structured techniques to foster new, empowering ways of thinking.
- Behavioral Activation
This approach encourages you to take small, intentional actions to shift from passivity to engagement, boosting your confidence with each step.
- Supportive Relationships
Healing often begins with connection. Trusted friends, partners, therapists, or support groups can offer emotional validation and help you rebuild trust in others and in yourself.
- Self-efficacy Training
Therapy or coaching can focus on creating opportunities for success, decision making, and setting boundaries restoring your sense of control.
- Mindfulness and Trauma-Informed Practices
These approaches are all about helping you reconnect your body and your mind, becoming more aware of your needs, and easing those automatic fear responses that can take over.
A Note: Real Helplessness vs. Learned Helplessness
It’s crucial to differentiate between learned helplessness and genuine limitations in life. Feeling powerless because of trauma or emotional scars is not the same as being physically constrained or oppressed by outside forces. Healing from learned helplessness involves recognizing the choices you have, even if they seem daunting or out of your comfort zone.
You are not powerless. If you’ve been feeling stuck, silenced, or insignificant for a while, remember that you are not alone, and you’re definitely not broken. Learned helplessness might be influencing your current situation, but it doesn’t have to dictate your future. With intention, support, and healing, you can tap into your inner strength, rebuild your confidence, and take charge of your life again.
Take that first step toward recovery. Reach out to a therapist, confide in someone you trust, or take one small action today. You deserve to reclaim your voice, your choices, and your power.